word up

wordle...yeah !!!

here's lookin at you kid...

its a fine day in the hood so i decide to take the kids and dog for a drive to the beach for a wander and play. as we pass over the bridge by the turnoff i notice all the wild goats have decided the grass is greener and more abundant on the other side of the road so have come down for a munch .

i'd already promised myself that if i am ever in a position to *ahem* kidnap one, i bloody well will and now seems like the best opportunity i'm ever likely to get.

i pull over, jump out and chase a bunch of about 10 across the road, just able to catch the leg of a young white kid as it scrambles through the fence but with a deft kick of it's hoof it frees itself from my grip and i'm left with air...bummer

i wander back to the vehicle when a family of 4 predominantly black ones start hoofing it across the road so like a wild eyed caveman from wayy back in the day i sprint after them and manage to nab the cutest little black kid with a stripe on its forehead. beaming like the proud hunter of yore i take it back and throw it in the vehicle.

the littlies are all giggles and smiles and Chi the oldest of them asks "can we keep him?" to which i reply "of course" without skiping a beat he then asks "...and can we call him nibbles?", sure i said thinking what a choice name. we carry on to the beach whle the little goat baaas and tries to hide under the seat.

funnily enough, the day of capture is also my lady's birthday so we decide to tie it to the tree by the gate upon her return and offer it up as a present. naturally shes rapt even though its suffering from the unsightly equivalent of goat cradle cap and has a few goat fleas as well, but then what do you expect ?...it is after all a wild animal and we'll sort him out wth worming stuff and de-flea her soon enough

a week or so passes and we are all enamoured with the little fellow, making sure it's loved and cared for while keeping it in plain sight of the lounge, cos the dog, having killed a few of our chickens, may decide to ruff him up some if we let her. they seem to develop a rapport so we move Nibbles round the back of the house to the orchard, yes we have an orchard of sorts with a few fruit trees out the back, that one day will be the location for a wondrous moonlight and candled feast of baccanalian proportions sometime in the not to distant future, but at present is in need of some grass maintenance courtesy of a growing goat

i guess it wasn't meant to be. the next day as i'm leaving to get the kids from school and do some errands in town i tie the dog up and make sure Nibbles has water then give him a good rub around the ears and neck. he seems to like that cos he pushes into me and goes all weak at the knees. i think/feel something isnt quite right but dismiss it as i have to go and decide to keep a sharper eye on him over the next couple of days. on returning from town, i notice him out the back lying unusually still. sadly Nibbles had passed away from what i believe may have been accidental poisoning in eating a strange, berried vine like plant close to where he was tied up.

my lady and i are pretty cut up over the whole thing and upon her return from work we bury him in the orchard and plant some rhubarb over him to mark the spot. in time re constituting his energy to us by way of a crumble pie perhaps at our orchard feast.

i've since passed the wild goat herd a few times and though i could snare another one, i'm in no hurry. if i've learnt anything from this, its that i have so much to learn, so it pays not to rush headlong into things especially when dealing with the living. maybe next year or the year after or whenever, i'd like to imagine that like john denver i'll be able to say in all earnesty " thank god i'm a country boy" but not today:)

epiphanies in a room wth a view

you know those blinding moments of OMFG clarity where you realise that 'this is how it is' and probably always will be ? sudden realizations that synchronize with other events happening both in and outside ones sphere of influence...

...one of the latest a couple weeks ago was when my lady inititated a full time career of the 40hr a week variety, meaning i had to take up the slack with the kids, and by kids i'm talking the full range, from hormonally charged teenagers of both sexes to just at school, pre school and toddler, all needing lunches, dinners, cleaned, clothed, entertained and transported to various places for education and recreational purposes

the epiphany was, i'm probably going to be doing this for at least the next 15 years. it was one of those 'job for life' moments when you realise the job you have or the career path you chose has now chosen you and theres no escape...

...the hardest part has been resetting my body clock and natural rhythm to accomodate the significant others, the rest is just planning and logistics, the drudgery of routine that must bore the shit out of any process worker stuck in a crap factory job...getting up, getting fed, getting to work, getting the job done then getting back to to bed...blah blah blah

truth be told...i LOVE it! It has presented me with an opportunity to evolve and grow into the person i want to be in my coming age of leisure, to cultivate hobbies and pastimes which i never had the time for but also to put them on a timeline that requires no pressure to learn or succeed in and i'm lucky enough to be living in place of natural wonder and beauty such that i'm inspired to actually do it...

in the meantime i'm growing and ocassionally killing/eating our own chickens but otherwise collecting their eggs, the buzz of which is equivalent to downloading a just released 320 bit album. i mean its free and it gives sooo much pleasure as you savour and devour it. free range eggs taste wayyy better as free music sounds wayyy better:) and when used to bake with, which i have also taken to, the results are divine...

...apparently the fish are starting to run in the channel across the paddock and the eels are stirring at the stream down the end of our drive

so i'm gonna have to learn how to catch and feed us there too, cant freaking wait...mmmm yummmmmm

i'm also developing my green thumb, having planted some veges in 'my nightmare before christmas' garden, so named because its fenced in by an old recycled, faded and chipped white picket fence lashed together with black cord and held up by rusted metal stakes. i'll get around to taking a photo of it one day cos it looks like it should be a burial ground for dead cuddly toys...

...then i've got my industrial sewing machines, my screen printing plant so maybe i'll resurrect my clothes label. ive got my puter, speakers and internet so maybe i'll make tunes again and resurrect my record label. i've got my camera which i'm still learning how to use and once the littlest starts at pre school i'll have the time to take on part time study so the opportunities are limitless. maybe i'll learn how to write nasty code and hack the fuck out of some shit sites or maybe crash the banks and start a revolution or maybe i'll learn how to weld and cast metal cos i've alsways wanted to make steel art and furniture or maybe kick my creative writing steez into full effect and write/illustrate a kids book

who knows ? but i suppose most importantly, i have the opportunity to affect and influence my childrens development in the most positive manner and revel in their company for they are my most treasured things...

BTW that first pic is the view from my lounge looking straight out as i type, its what i see on any ordnary day, the last is the view out my lounge side window and dedicated to all my playas in the hood, both real and virtual who are stuck in the daily grind of the big smoke...live long and prosper otherwise eat ya heart out :P

sunbursts

you're driving home in a bit of a rush cos it's getting dark and you got to put dinner on for the kids...

...you glance out the window, see the sun setting and think...meh the kids aren't gonna starve in the next half hour but i'm only going to see this exact scene once

so you pull over, grab the camera, marvel at natures awesome wonder and think...yup all is good in the world...

...at least for tonight. ahhh but the doubt and indecision creeps in just like when trying to decide which pic has the best filter over it



pffft...when it comes right down to it, it doesnt really matter. what does, is to make the time to enjoy the free and simple things in life cos theres fuck all of them around...

Somewhere between...

...heaven and hell


is me...

...hopefully more saint than sinner,

but it's not really for me to decide...

...is it ???

The re-up...

Before the nothingness settled upon the face of dubstep, before the dubzombies and wobbleclones took charge there was...


Hell Science Dept - ratz inn amaze

...ever wondered what type of t shirt la roux or lady gaga might wear ???... i did, so designed this



...and heres some pics i been taking


trouble with where i live is, the sky is so harsh and flat most of the time, so i took a sky from another pic and pasted it behind the dead car. Luckily the light is coming from the same place so the shadows dont look too weird...


taken through the window of a helicopter as we flew into the marlborough sounds at the top of the sth island to do a little antenna swapout...


having just rearranged the lounge i noticed it was a full moon and the reflection of the carving on the window ledge was reflected just so. Naturally i wondered if i could take a photo of it...

a half dead bee was nestled in the blossom as i tried out the super macro function. It somehow wasnt positioned right so i gave it some direction...

another antenna site in the marlborough sounds and me trying to capture too much. Some foreground tussock with water reflection fading off to bush, mountains and sky but fuck it...i like it!

...tried untold ways to shoot this dead truck with weeds growing out the engine but in the end i decided to capture as much as possible without the background intruding

a building i liked the angles of and how the sun was hitting it. The barbed wire and fencing was a bonus and i treated it to look cartoonish as though all thats missing is the bat signal in the sky

a misplaced japanese garden down under, hence the upside down shot. In trying for a triptych i split it into 3 parts...

...finally, i heard it said that 'if you cant live in a great city, live by a great coastline'

New Zealand doesn't have any great cities so i live here...


...once again shot through the window of a helicopter with our house being out of sight just behind the hill. Incidentally that estuary has the meanest cockles and rock oysters and the fishing around there is supposed to be mint as too

:)

Chasing the 4th...

Looking back I suppose it was a defining moment of my life. One that gave me a huge sense of self belief and confidence but also instilled a deep seated fear.

I am seven years old. Me, my older brother by one year and older step brother by 2 years are wandering along the beach in Samoa. Having just spent the day surrounded by tropical fish, following coral paths in your stereotypical paradisical sth seas lagoon, we head back to the archetypal, golden sandy beach to avoid being trapped by the rising tide.

We find some sticks and start tracing lines in the sand as we slowly meander back to town. About 100 metres away in the treeline we hear and see some dogs playing rough amongst themselves, not an unusual occurrence in the islands as they tend to run wild, somewhat paralleling island youth when also transplanted to foreign climes.

Upon spotting us, they start barking like crazy, sprinting towards us and closing the distance with alarming speed. It takes all of half a second to realize we’re in deep shit. There’s about 7 of them and 3 of us. They’re stronger, better equipped to defend their supposed turf from ignorant intruders and they're faster but still we run.

Naturally, with me being the youngest, I am also the slowest. I watch helplessly as my older siblings out pace me. I capture a quick glance backwards, I call out, my voice broken and shaking from fear and lack of breath, for my brothers to slow down. It is in vain. I hear the barks getting louder, I feel their presence. I fully expect the next thing I feel to be a chunk of flesh torn from my calf.

There only one thing for it…

With precision timing born of instinct, I spin and in the most aggressive stance possible for a 7 yr old I decide to hold my ground. I’m not scared anymore, I’m alone in my plight and I accept my fate. Now I’m just fucking angry and in the same instance I let out an involuntary growl. It’s time to stand and fight.

Dogs in a pack tend to take cues from a leader, usually the strongest and fastest. Being instinctual creatures also and faced with no other choice, the leader in this case knows its gonna get the smash, hard and full on, right across its face, so in less than an instant it chooses the softer option.

With a cowardly yelp it turns on its heels and starts running with equal alarming speed in the opposite direction followed by its pack of would be assailants. I make a gesture as if to give chase. The leader in looking backwards sees this and I glimpse fear in its face. It flees faster, its tail firmly between its legs and whining like the dog it is starts to outpace its siblings.

My own siblings upon hearing this come back to stand beside me as I exhiliratingly say words to the effect of ‘fuck that was close’. With little else need saying and from emotions borne of desperation, we piss ourselves laughing and carry on meandering up the beach tracing lines more forcefully in the sand.

Looking back and in keeping with things learnt later in life concerning ‘the way of the warrior’ being governed by ruthless intent and impeccable timing, there were so many things that could have gone wrong.

The lead dog for example, if given more time to make a decision would surely have slowed down enough to let one of its minions take the first and possibly only blow I could have managed. It would then have salvaged some pride and ripped its pound of flesh from me for our intrusion on its patch.

Or if my brothers and I had made a decision from the outset to collectively make a stand, the dogs would again have reassessed the odds differently and probably have turned tail much earlier. As it was, everything turned out as it should have because that’s the way it did turn out.

Since then there have been many a time when faced with fight or flee or as the case may be, refuse to fight, I have drawn on that instance. Knowing that if the time calls for it, I can go to that place without fear, hold my ground and let instinct take over, though the rationalist in me will always look for the non violent solution first even if it means losing face.

As for chasing the 4th when theres only 3 of us. That’s a recurring dream I’ve been having that reminded me of the above incident.

Its dark and we’re being chased thru desolate city streets by something way scarier and otherworldly than dogs. There’s 4 of us, only I don’t know who the others are, just that once again I’m last in line and first to get caught. There’s no point calling to the others to slow down, they wouldn’t hear me and even if they could they wouldn’t slow down. Why would they ?...theres no scaring whats chasing us and theres no defense against them.

The thing is, I don’t give a shit about defending the others or myself, its just that I’m last. Why cant the others be last for a change ? That’s all I care about.

In this dream there has to be a sacrifice and someone has, in the best tradition of shitty movies, to martyr themselves, slow down the enemy that others may escape but why me? Its always me…

…and it’s making me fucking angry. You don’t want to make me angry !!!

Go figure:)